As a hobbyist, how do you prove you're cool? In our pay-to-play world, the easy answer is the provider reference. You see a lady, you behave well, she vouches for you when your other ladies ask.
But here's the question. How much can you expect from a lady you saw one time?
Last week, I had 2 ladies contact me about "E." I saw "E" once, THREE YEARS AGO. I met him for one hour, we had an OK time, and I never saw or heard from him again.
Now, all of a sudden, I'm his best reference? I don't think so.
This is how I'd like to put the question to "E."
Let's say you go to a new bank for a personal loan. Naturally, they ask for a character reference. Would you give them the name of the mechanic who changed your oil three years ago? He should vouch for you, right? After all, you paid your bill and didn't hit him over the head with a monkey wrench.
Of course, you may have passed 50 bad checks and committed armed robbery in the meantime... but your pal from 3 years ago would have no way of knowing that, would he?
Gee, how convenient.
Honest, protocol-abiding hobbyists and providers understand that you establish credibility over time. I don't hesitate to vouch for the clients I have seen numerous times... and even those who I've seen less frequently. But don't cross my path once, spend three years never bothering to speak to me again and then expect me to put my good name out there for you.
Even though I call myself Tabu, my actions are straight-up. When ladies ask me for a reference, they're trusting me to be honest, to tell them exactly what I know, and to never knowingly recommend a unknown quantity. I've painstakingly built my reputation-- and it's worth a damn sight more than you could ever get from that loan.
Good guys and reasonable guys will never have a quarrel with me. Guys who want to use me-- sorry, I won't play. And that's something you can take to the bank.