Last 2 days to pre-book for Cleveland!

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Two holes are bettter than one!

Last night I got to indulge in one of my favorite treats... and share it with a fascinated onlooker.

When I oh-so-carefully spread my naughty girlfriend's legs... then plunged into her with my big, black strap-on, there were three gasps heard in the room: hers, mine and our titillated client.

Ah, the joys of being a girl with a cock. After I taught her how to behave properly-- and she needed a lesson!-- I relinquished the helm to her own eager hips. That bad girl wanted some of her own... and for poor little me, that was just the start of a very "fulfilling" evening.

Sometimes I feel like the star in my very own porn movie. Here's to Take Two!

Happy Memorial "Lay!"

My wish for you: that you may you be "lay"d sweetly, vigorously, slowly, sensually or however you like it best.... and that you make the most of the three "lay" weekend!

I know I will!

hugs to all my friends and partners in crime!

P.S. and don't worry, Cleveland-- I'm saving some strength for you!!

Good cop/bad cop... mmmmm. What a choice.

As much as I love the donuts, I have to admit that there's one part of my job I love even more....

and that's cuffing those miscreant boys that think they can bribe me into slipping out of my uniform.

Why, just last week, a would-be gangsta shouldered his way into this innocent officer's hotel room in Detroit. And before I could give him any well-intentioned warnings, he slapped down a envelope and looked at me defiantly.

"Well?" he demanded. "What do you have on under that robe for me?"

"Excuse me, sir," I began, "You may want to wait just a minute before you start asking me questions. There's something about me that you really need to know."

"I don't think so, Miss Hottie," he replied, reaching for the tie of my silky robe. "I want to see what I'm buying."

"Well, all right," I conceded, stepping away from his hands. "If you really want to see what you're getting, I hope you like silver and black."

I dropped the silky panels to the floor.... and watched his face go pale as I was revealed in full police uniform.

"You're under arrest, Mr. Hottie," I sighed. "I tried to warn you."

"Uh, wait a minute," he stammered. "There's been a mistake. I didn't know you were a cop!"

I had to giggle at his weak protestation. "Of course you didn't, sweetie-- but now you know, and now you're going downtown."

His face crumpled and his shoulders sagged in defeat. "Isn't there any way we can work this out? I can't let this happen! I'll be ruined."

I felt a brief moment of pity. He did look sincere... and I had been on a lonely stakeout for almost a week. Maybe instead of going downtown, he could just go down. Yeah, that was an idea.

An hour later, still breathing hard, I realized there's a reason I'll never make Sergent. But then again, sometimes rank is over-rated. Just like making collars.

Humanitarian Aid... and then some!

On Friday afernoon I returned from 5 days away on tour. Naturally, my love-starved SO was eager to enjoy a prolonged tryst with me.

In the afterglow he hugged me and joked, "I should get a humanitarian award for sharing your fabulous p---sy with the world."

"Why, yes, you should, darling," I agreed. "And I even know which one it shoud be. The Nobel 'Piece' Prize!"

It's good to be queen!

Florida-bound tomorrow! (no, that's not a new fetish!)

Detroit has been treating me like a queen, but even the nicest reigns have to come to an end.... (hopefully, I'll still have my head when it's over!)

What lovely gentlemen I've always found here. Engineers, auto industry folks, the occasional doctor, lawyer and college prof.... the tenor of their visits is always sweet and appreciative.

I appreciate you, too, boys! And while I'm a tad homesick right now, I'll be back again this summer for a visit with my "gentlemen in waiting"-- and I'll bring the cake!

Putting the "ho" in hotel! An etiquette reminder from "Dear Tabu."

Dear Tabu:

Q. How I can ensure the discretion and safety of my favorite escort when she's visiting my town on tour? (OK, so no one really asked this. Go with me here!)

A. Thank you for the excellent question, Hobbyist! Part of your responsibility as a good client is to visit your escort as discreetly as possible. Any behavior, intentional or not, that draws negative attention to her may result in trouble for both of you. Here are some examples of what TO DO.

• Call for her room number from the parking lot, not the lobby. Then when you arrive, you can stride purposefully right to the elevator and go up. The longer you linger in the lobby, looking lost, the more the desk clerk is likely to wonder.
• Arrive with a briefcase, file folder or other business-related item in hand.
  
• Make your arrival call on time. Not 15 minutes early, when your lady is likely in the shower, brushing her teeth, or struggling to attach her garters.
  
• Knock quietly on her door and enter without exclaiming loudly "Wow! You're even hotter than your pictures!" (We love that, but save it for when the door is closed.)
• Lay your gift envelope down in clear view without further comment. We know what it is.
  

And now, from the "Oh My God" file, a few reminders of what NOT to do. (We'll use someone named "Miss X" as the example case.)

• Do not arrive with a big bouquet of flowers as if you're headed for the prom. Not only will everyone stare at you in the lobby, but your lady will have no place to put them in her room. Then disposing of said flowers gracefully... not easily done without the maids wondering about "businesswoman" Miss X in Room 617.
• Enjoy your time with your lady, but do not try to wring every last second out of your appointment. Wind down your activities so you can shower and dress and still be out the door when your alloted time has elapsed. Your lady will appreciate your respect for her schedule-- and it will give her time to re-attach her garters.
  
• Speaking of showers-- Miss X is probably stealing towels off the maid's cart to keep herself and her guests stocked without having to ask for extras... so don't assume she has an infinite number on hand. One should do the trick, unless you're Andre the Giant.
• Say your farewells inside the room, not as you're walking into the hallway. Miss X actually had an enthusiastic client exclaim as she was closing the door, "That was the best b--- j-- I've ever had!"
  

Keeping a low profile keeps everyone safe and satisfied. So when you're eagerly anticipating the happy return of Miss X to your city, make it easy for her to say Yes!

Now back to your regularly-scheduled programming!