The Love Guru.... Hmmph!

No, I haven't seen a sneak preview... but I do think I might have to get my bulldog of a lawyer onto Mike Myers.... After all, the man boldly stole what should have been my own legacy. Tabu, the Love Guru. Has a certain ring to it, don't you think?

Last week I entertained some new friends and I have to tell you.... I'm relishing my enviable life. What could be better or more satisfying? I get to indulge in one of my favorite pasttimes, to watch my befuddled friends stagger off with a huge smile on their mugs, and pay the rent in a manner my landlady would never suspect.

Life is good, as they say. And after I spank that naughty Mike for stealing my thunder, I'll be the one smiling... even wider than usual. Now if only I could get a percentage!

Playing doctor in Cleveland!

"Oh, yes, Doctor, of course I'll open my mouth so you can check my tonsils... with your cock!"

In one of those funny coincidences that could only happen in my hotel room, on Wednesday I was treated to an entire series of medical exams by some of the ablest physicians in Ohio (home to the famous Cleveland Clinic, of course.) So after this modest little patient made sure she was wearing clean panties, it was clear that she needed to be diagnosed... and thus it was time for me to:

• stick out my tongue


• breathe rapidly


• have my breasts checked for abnormalities


• and put my feet in the stirrups of someone's shoulders.

My, oh my. I've never undergone such a rigorous series of exams.. all so very thorough.

And it was funny, when you think about it... after all that, I was the one who got the results!