Monday, April 30, 2007

Tale from the Swing Club

So Saturday night at the club, several of the ladies were chatting about the lifestyle and their spouses.

One of them, a relative newcomer to the scene, was complaining that her husband expected the most beautiful ladies at the club to seek him out and service him-- even though he made no effort to ingratiate himself.

Finally, she blurted: "The only way he'll get a blow job is if he pulls out his American Express card!"

The other ladies looked blank for a moment, and I burst out laughing.

"Well, actually," I replied,"we generally prefer cash!"

Moral of this story: there's no such thing as a free munch.

I love being a provider!

Saturday, April 28, 2007

May Allie be with you!

For those of you who have never met her-- and believe me, it's a shame if you haven't-- my girlfriend and doubles partner Allie is simply one of a kind.

Have you seen her pictures? Tall and lithe, with the elegant stance of a model, she makes heads swivel wherever she goes. Then, when you get her in the bedroom-- YOW! This hot goddess slips out of her clothes and into her natural gift for sensuality... no one escapes her passionate desire to please.

Now, you have to understand. I love this striking woman for all her wonderful traits-- her sincerity, loyalty, kindness, beauty and humor. But my tall and tasty tidbit has one tiny flaw. She's endearingly reluctant to put herself out there via the written word. Of course, this drives me crazy since I'm a natural-born, can't-shut-me-up writer.

So you have to imagine my bemused delight when I discovered the following post on TER's Florida board yesterday. My Miss "I'm too shy to post" composed her own little ode about our upcoming trip to Tampa. Now, I think anyone who tries this hard should be rewarded, don't you?

Tampa Time (by Allie)

There once was a girl from down state,
Who decided to go to Tampa for a hot, sensuous date.
She’s going all that way
‘cause she wants to play
from Tuesday the 8th to the 10th of May.

What she brings is a slim and tan body
And if you read her reviews,
They say she’s a hottie.

She is quite talented and enjoys good lovers.
If you do it just right, she’ll wet your covers!
So read Allie’s reviews and give her a call
To pre-book some time and have a ball!

And if you really feel up to the task
She will bring her friend, Tabu
All you have to do is ask!

To contact the poet, write or see her ad in Eros at

Let my stunning girlfriend enlarge your mind.. ... and the rest of of you will follow!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The Three Faces of Tabu... Coming soon to Tampa!

Ever since I unleashed my Ivy-League bad-girl, my titillating reviews have spoken for themselves. But sometimes even I wonder...

How did a little girl from Texas become a "seductress of the highest order?" When did "every man's fantasy" develop her "classy, great style"...all while being "a nasty bad girl?"

Uncovering all the layers of Tabu-- mmm, it's a delicious mission. You never know what you'll find behind each tight curve.

Tabu #1: Sweet and sultry GFE. "She took me in like a passionate schoolgirl."

Tabu #2: Raw and greedy PSE. "I felt like I was being stalked by a sexual feline."

Tabu #3: Kinky roleplay and erotic domination. "Her teasing and sexy-executive look had me ready to explode."

Well, whichever face of Tabu you like best, you boys know that I LOVE to play.. and that my calendar books up FAST. So please, my darling west coasters-- contact me for your appointment now. I'm already booking
for May 8-10.

And for the ultimate pleasure, ask about my 2-MILF special with my exquisite traveling partner, Allie.

Quickest screening for Date-Check and Preferred411 members; others please see my website booking form.

You boys KNOW what I like. So let's get ready to rumble!

Monday, April 23, 2007

Nefarious Newbies? (or why I love my virgins!)

Some escorts truly hate newbies. They get a note from some hapless gent stating that he's new to the game, and they groan. Will he be a major pain? Will he follow my protocol? He's unknown and untested... what if he misbehaves?

Valid points, all.... and I've had my share of moments with the innocent, the inept, and the inexperienced. But lately I've been finding that the fellows who haven't been around that much... well, they don't take you for granted, either.

Take M---, for example. When he came to see me a month or two ago, he followed my requests to the letter. He showed up on time, impeccably groomed, bearing the correct gift. And if there were a few beads of nervous perspiration dotting his upper lip, well, I made sure he quickly realized that he was in for a very nice time. Afterwards, the relief and gratitude that emanated from his smile made me feel like Miss Congeniality.

Don't get me wrong. If a newbie's rough, unfeeling, or just plain oafish, there are no second chances.

But when I can introduce a lovely gent to a lovely pastime, I'm happy to pluck that little cherry and stain my tongue red.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Make mine vanilla!

"Oh, she won't go there, she's vanilla."

"Don't bother with them, they're vanilla."

In several of my social circles, it's a useful but rather derogatory phrase. Not into swinging? Poof- vanilla! Prefer actual sex to being tied up and flogged? Oops- vanilla again.

How otherwise cheerful non-participants came to be known by an ostensibly bland flavor is a question for some other scholar. But I do know that when it comes to pleasure, fun and trying anything once-- well, sometimes I'm vanilla, too.

As my most casual readers know, "naughty" is my middle name. But even your resident sexpot doesn't jump into everything with both boobs.

After all, the thrill of sexual titillation arises from as many impulses as there are human beings. And the impetus that drives us to find one thing exquisitely enticing--- while another leaves us drier than Aunt Fanny-- well, it's the most personal judgment call there is.

So whether it's chocolate or vanilla-- or the hundreds of delicious variations in between-- I believe the very best flavor is the one that makes you stop, taste, and savor the moment. Because in the days and nights and days that make up our lives-- there's rarely anything sweeter.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Wednesday's Special: An authentic Chicago blow-job!

No, naughty minds-- not THAT kind of blow-job. I'm talking about the sleeting, spitting, jaw-chattering, cheek-numbing, hands-buried-in-pockets kind of blow. In other words-- a typical Spring day in the city of broad overcoats.

I absolutely adore Chicago-- ask anyone. But even I was a bit disheartened when I looked out onto an accumulating pile of sleet on my windowsill.

"Here come the cancellations," I thought, eyeing my calendar with regret. Almost immediately the phone rang.

"Hi, this is L--- are we still on for this morning? I know it's a bit windy out, but I'll brave it to see you!"

Later: "Hi, Tabu- I just wanted to let you know that I'm on my way... I left early because of the storm, but I think I'l still be there on time."

Then: "Tabu, I'm on my way to your hotel. Is there anything I can bring you? I know you probably didn't want to go out today."

At the end of the day, lulled with chocolates, wine and the company of some of Chicago's most valiant gentlemen, I fell into the sweet and dreamless sleep of a child who knows she's home.

Thank you all, my dears. I cannot wait to visit you again.