My Close Encounter of the Ron Jeremy kind

Four years ago, when becoming an escort was barely a naughty thought in my mind, I met Ron Jeremy one busy Saturday night at the local swing club.

We sat side-by-side for two hours in the back room, chatting about all kinds of things... I purposely didn't ask him about his film career, figuring that he gets those "fan" questions all the time.

Even though our conversation was interrupted by a steady stream of swingers seeking autographs, which he graciously signed, he always re-focused immediately on our intimate chat.

Eventually, it was hard not to notice the effect my bare breasts were having on the porn king. And so I was inspired to check out his legendary equipment with my mouth. (and yes, it's quite a mouthful!)

Afterwards, the happy actor asked me if I'd ever considered getting into the adult industry.

"Here's my personal email address," he offered, scribbling it on the back of a business card. "If you're interested in doing something, I can definitely introduce you to the right people."

Soon it was time to go, and we said affectionate goodbyes and I hugged his furry chest.

"Seriously, I want you to get in touch with me after I get back to LA. I think you're a natural," he insisted.

Well, as you all know, I didn't go into movies, preferring the more discreet and personal avenue of being an escort.

But the accomplished and charming Ron did give me a nudge in the Tabu direction... and that was one of the best bits of career advice I've ever received.

So if you're the pleased recipient of a bit of oral inspiration from yours truly, you can give the king a nod of acknowledgement.

I know I do.

Becoming a Star at the Starlite Motel!

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Changing your plans makes life interesting!

Ah well, Chicago is going to have to enjoy my girlfriend without me this time; due to an unexpected development, I've had to cancel my trip.

I will definitely plan on re-scheduling a little later this spring/summer.

In the meantime, I'm looking forward to a delectable visit with some of my Motor City favorites!

Detroit, watch out for the Tabu Express!

Road Trip!! Well, plane trip. (Who cares? We're going to Chicago!)

Ah, spring. The dogwoods bloom, the spring breakers break and in Tabu-land, the snowbirds take flight.

It was wonderful, they say, as they wave from their SUVs, heading back to New York and Minnesota. We'll see you next year!

And as we wipe our tearful eyes, everyone in Florida waves sadly till they're over the horizon of I-95.

Then, we all make a rush for our favorite restaurants and bars, now blissfully tourist-free.

Thank God for those fat-cat snowbirds, for without them our coffers would be lighter. But thank God when they leave, and local life takes back its lazier, sun-dappled pace.

For me-- and my girl Allie, who positively itches with wanderlust, spring's the overture to our own journeys.... and with nothing but stilettos in our suitcases, there's only one thing that could be on our minds.

Foot-long hot dogs. After all, isn't that Chicago is famous for? Oh, wait, that's Coney Island. (I always get those two mixed up!)

No, we adore Chicago with a passion worthy of grand opera. Get us up on Michigan Ave-- ensconced in the silky linens of a 4-star hotel-- waiting breathlessly for our darling midwestern suitors to arrive.... well, life just doesn't get much sweeter.

Seasons always resume their rituals, no matter who's watching. And when we see our calendars inching toward April, we can hardly wait to take it all in.

So if you see two Florida flamingos-- one sun-kissed, one ivory-- positively glowing with genuine delight, please don't hesitate to welcome us "home."

Hollywood will wait.

AWOL for a friend; back to Tabu.

This weekend I had to say a permanent goodbye.

My friend John, a smart, lovable and funny 50-year-old, slipped away into a quiet place after a devastating fight with cancer.

During that fight, his wife, my equally admirable girlfriend, showed me what courage really is. A feisty ex-New Yorker, she never backed down from the challenge of dealing with every aspect of their everyday life; when John quickly became too weak to function, she emerged as even more than she imagined she could be.

Not that I'm painting her as a saint. Plenty of days I got my daily call that started with exasperation; nothing was simple in their last journey together except their love for each other.

And now, that love continues and changes.

Hellos and goodbyes, mourning and rejoicing. There's no getting around that eternal balance.

I love both my friends, and now I'm going to get to show one of them just how much. When life feels diminished by absence, the presence of our friends and family helps fill the abyss.

And for me, re-embracing my inner Tabu is my way of celebrating the continuation of beauty, sensuality and life.

John wouldn't have had it any other way.