Thursday, December 27, 2007

36-24-36, Hut! I was a happy little fan till....

This morning, the highly resistible (as opposed to irresistible) Bill Parcells showed up on the local news amid speculation that he'll be joining the Dolphins front office.

Well, thank God. Not that he's joining the local down-on-their-luck boys, but that he's NOT going to be Coach. Being their Coach would mean a whole new era of forced participation in the Parcellsization of the media.

I've already lived through the "Tuna's" ignominious reign in New England. Then he ham-handed my original hometown team, the Cowboys. And now-- it seems I can't get away from him.

From the moment he shows up, even veteran sportscasters lose their normal equanimity. His bluster defeats rational thought. And when a things don't go the Tuna's way, well, watch out.

Is he an indisputably excellent coach? Yes. Is he an indisputably obnoxious man? Yes again. Can he help the hapless Dolphins regain their balance? I hope so.

Is he a welcome addition to Tabu's world (which does include enjoying men in tight white pants?)

I think you've already figured that one out.

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