Monday, July 30, 2007

Death by escort?

I rarely get upset, but this weekend I was stunned by a would-be client. After making an appointment and exchanging several emails about his desires, he canceled the day before the appointment. However, that's not the issue. This email is.

Sorry I haven't gotten back to you sooner, a day trip to NYC turned into the week. Worse than that, while I was gone, my wife discovered our e-mail traffic. Stupid me left w/o taking my laptop with me and also left it in standby. Long story short, when she opened it, your last e-mail was on the screen.
So, unfortunately, you will not be hearing from me for a while, but if things continue, you could hear a lot more from me in the not too distant future.

My reply:

Dear Joe:

If that was indeed what happened, you have been careless with more than your own behavior-- you have compromised my security as well. I don't need vengeful wives knowing my email and website.

There is more than one party at risk here. If you do hobby in the future, I would urge you to consider your actions a lot more thoughtfully.

Unfortunately, I won't be able to make your acquaintance at this point. I hope you understand why.



If a client wants to get caught by his wife-- leaving hobby-related email on the screen of your computer at home?-- I really don't care. But don't use me or any other honest escort as the weapon of your self-destruction.

An escort's job is risky enough. Cops, stalkers, thieves, rapists-- they're all among the lovely folks we have to guard against. But when self-absorbed clients add themselves to the list...

When I hear a woman's voice on my phone today or next week, I want it to be another escort, calling for a reference. Not Mrs. Joe.

This weekend, I had to remind myself that my smart and discreet clients are the joy of my working life. Now, if you could only educate the rest of them.


FOLLOWUP: After I posted this on the The Erotic Review, one gent had this to say in response:

The guy made a mistake, what do you want? It will almost certainly hurt him more than it will you. Don't use e-mail then. There's somebody pretty self-absorbed here, but it isn't Mr. Joe.

My reply:

You're absolutely right, Bob-- I AM self-absorbed... especially when it comes to my personal safety and peace of mind.

One of the reasons I was particularly upset by this occurrence-- not the first one, mind you-- is that in this fellow's blithe little note, he showed NO remorse and NO recognition that he put me at risk as well as himself.

And this is where you come in. But because some people can't be trusted to use the brains God gave them, you suggest I should give up using email.

I guess notebook paper is out as well-- last year, I had a wife call me and threaten to spray-paint "Whore" on my front door-- after she found directions to my incall in her husband's pants pocket.

So let's see-- I guess that leaves the phone as a safe option. Unless you count the fellow who recently left a message for me to call him right back... and when I did, his wife answered. Yes, he was at home-- with wifey in the next room.

Until some clients start thinking defensively, I really don't think that escorts should be expected to give up all forms of normal communication to keep them safe.

Oh, wait-- I've got it... smoke signals! Maybe that would work. One puff for "Yes," two for "No," three for "I'm an idiot."

respectfully yours,



SimplyAlexa said...

Hi Tabu,

EXCELLENT response to Mr. Joe!! Seriously, with portable phones you can "crack" in on conversations with a baby monitor and cell phones are SO not "safe." I had to laugh at his comment because in this day and age, the only way to be sure no one is going to get your to deliver them face to face! Now how reasonable is that?

Self-absorbed was definitely not a nice way of putting it. Our safety is our primary concern, well mine and I can see yours too so I guess that makes me selfish? ;-)


Bella_HHD said...

You crack me up, MsTabu.

And your writing is absolutely scintillating!