A tiny little tour to expand my tiny little mind....

Ah, Cambridge, MA... home of MIT, Harvard, Radcliffe, and the dearly remembered and now departed ManRay, the oldest continually-running fetish club in the U.S.

When this Texas girl shook off her southern ways and transplanted herself to Boston, almost 20 years ago, it took a while to thaw the natives out. But once she warmed up the famously icy reserve of the New Englanders, life was interesting, cultured and freaky.

Now, does this 6-year Florida transplant still relish her parka-free winters? And does the home of the lobster roll still call her name?

Yes and yes.

So when I come to make a tiny little dent in the wallets and libidos of my fine Boston boys, think of it this way. I'm just getting a little bit of Boston back in my blood.

It's a fair exchange.

Cambridge, June 14-16.

The lure of eBay.... "Step away from the computer!"

Damn. Lately I'm having real trouble resisting eBay.

It reminds me of the Borg. (Resistance is futile; you will be assimilated!)

The only thing is, if you succumbed to the Borg, at least you had a shot with Seven of Nine.

There's something to be said for that!

From the peanut gallery...

Yesterday, "Teleplay@aol.com" was kind enough to email me the following career advice:


TABU???? MAN THE 80'S ARE GONE...

GO AND CHANGE YOUR HAIR DOOO
YOU ARE SO FUCKING UGLY...

I BETTER PAY 350 TO MY GRANDMOTHER...
RETIRE...GO HOME FUCK...SO PATHETIC


I don't know how I was lucky enough to merit his attention, much less the style and career how-to's.... but I hope his grandmother is happy to get $350!

rolling merrily along,

Tabu

Creamy, willing, thrilling redheaded MILF....

Has your sexual curiosity been honed over years of exploration and practice? Mine has... and I still have so many avenues left to discover with you!

This Sunday-Wednesday... you'll find me downtown in an upscale Chicago hotel. And you'll always find me eager to entertain you like a re-discovered lover.

**RS2K and Date-Check members only**

Please send your info to my email for an appointment.

350/hr...550/90 min...700/2 hrs

You'll never forget Tabu.

What a delicious mind f-ck!

My trip to DC set some delectable new standards in Tabu-licious clientele... some handsome specimens, to be sure, but more enticingly, some brainy/kinky/let me tickle your inner wildchild fellows that never fail to get me going. Yumm, yumm.

Now I have to remove my fingers from that moist little furnace and put them back on the keyboard... at least for as long as it takes me to type this.

Back as soon as I'm done.

Name change: District of Concubines!

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Cunning Linquists on Parade!

THE WASHINGTON POST ASKED READERS TO TAKE ANY WORD FROM THE DICTIONARY, ALTER IT BY ONE LETTER, AND SUPPLY A NEW DEFINITION. HERE ARE THE WINNERS:

(My favorites in blue)

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Belief that one will come back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11 . Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

My own contribution for today:

Reliculous. An individual overly-obsessed with his oral skills.

"My brains could kick her brains' butt."

Except when she's an Ivy League brain! (Score one for Tabu!) Giggle.

Voicemail from a whore?

Someone in Springfield, IL doesn't like me.

Yesterday afternoon, my Tabu phone rang, and as always, I waited for my phone-answering system to prompt the caller for his or her name. When the moment came, a female voice hissed "Dirty whore!"

My, oh, my. A phone call from Dirty Whore. What a very interesting name to bestow upon a daughter.

I let the call go to voicemail, and retrieved the message later in the evening-- very curious to hear what such a colorful caller had to say for herself.

"You look much older than you really are," she spitted. "Actually, you look like a transsexual."

Apparently she ran out of imagination at that point, because the line went dead.

Darling "Dirty," I'm truly sorry that you're upset with me-- for whatever reason. But if you're going to call names, get with the program.

I'm a naughty girl by nature. I'm a swinger by choice. And I'm a hooker with enthusiasm. There's hardly a name in the book I wouldn't answer to proudly.

If you were looking to shame me... well, I don't blush easily. So as one badly aging transsexual to another, let's make a deal.

I won't publish your phone number, which I now have saved.... and maybe you can think a bit more cogently before you let your fingers do the stalking.

OK. Gotta go.

Rule #1: Learn from the movies.

OK, I know you're all thinking that I'm just super hot for those rough-riding Brits like Daniel Craig and Jason Stathan (pictured left), and of course, I plead guilty.

But what you may not know is just how much I model my existence on the fine examples these boys demonstrate for me every time I fast-forward, double-clutch and rewind.

So, with a special red-lipped kiss blown to Frank Martin, the cool-headed and fast-driving hero of the Transporter (1,2 and 3) movies... allow me to pass along the latest epiphany he delivered right to my door.

Rules are sexy.

"What??" you may ask, "Since when is letting other people tell you what to do... sexy?"

Who said anything about other people? I'm talking about the rules you create for yourself... the ones that let you forget about the world's expectations... and let you drive right to your goal.

In every Transporter film, Frank has to educate his ne'er-do-well clients that he operates by very strict rules... guidelines that allow him to navigate the sometimes treacherous curves that underlie his mission to deliver the goods. No one is allowed to break those rules... not even him.

Of course, the movies being what they are-- it's not till someone tweaks the rules that the action really gets started.

Lately I've been thinking that I wouldn't want to live with a such bad boy-- but there's definite pussy appeal in his passion to get the job done.

So what does all this have to do with your vixen Tabu? Or you?

Just one small wish from your big-titted bitch. That I'll soon be opening my door to even more of these complicated, sexy boys who know that the best games are played when everyone follows the rules. Because when fire in the belly meets cool-headed resolve, the results can rev any red-blooded girl's motors.

So if you like to play within- let's say "gentlemen's rules-" you'll find a very willing partner riding shotgun.

Wild, wicked, just-within-the-lines seduction. I've learned something from the movies.