Tabu's Tutorials: Grand Theft Cotton

Into every life a hotel incall comes... and when it does, along comes the great towel dilemma. There are never enough.

Touring providers like yours truly and my leggy pal Allie, have come to regard even the best-stocked hotel bath with a jaundiced eye.

"Only 3 bath towels," she'll report from her lovely suite.

"Mine, too," I'll establish after a cursory examination.

"Where's the maid's cart?"

As stealthy as cat burglars, we creep down the hallway, looking this way and that for our personal Mecca: the unattended cart replete with stacks of fluffed and folded goodness.

Once secured, they're hoarded in a secret place known only to ladies who entertain the cleanest boys in "ho" business.

Last week in Charlotte, one genteel southerner amused me no end by quoting miscellaneous chapter and verse from this little vixen's blog. When our visit drew to an end, he excused himself to clean up. After the shower turned off, I heard his voice.

"I dried myself off with a hand towel, I hope that's all right," he called out to me from the bath.

"What?" I responded. "You didn't have to do that, I laid out a fresh bath towel for you!"

"Oh, no," he replied, sticking his head around the door to grin at me. "I wouldn't use your big towels. I want to be invited back!"

You gotta love a man with a plan.

Tabu's Tuesday Tutorial: Ins and Outs.

All good things have a beginning, a middle and, equally important to your busy provider, an end.

The trouble is, not everyone seems to realize when it's time to go. Of course you're having fun, and in the post-nookie glow, time seems to stand still as pillow talk replaces the real world. We're enjoying it, too. But as the clock ticks silently past the hour, into ten minutes, 15 minutes, or in really distracted cases, 20 minutes, the push of Other Duties starts knocking on the door.

When it's time to answer, it's time to answer.

Your lovely temporary girlfriend, the skilled temptress who lulled you into such delicious lethargy, can also hint delicately when the curtain needs to fall... so when you hear "It's been so good to see you!"... please.

Rinse it off, tuck it in and fold your tent.

We will bless you as we watch your punctual back depart down the hallway. And we will welcome you back like a king when you return.

Now take that on the road.

Tabu's Tuesday Tutorial: When Mr Softie Strikes!

Performance anxiety. Is there a more dreaded hazard for a hobbyist? If it hasn't happened to you yet, it probably will. Here's how it goes.

You're in the room with the girl of your dreams. You want everything to go perfectly. She's lying before you seductively, her moist lips open, the sweet essence of her secret folds starting to waft ever so subtly into your mind.... and just when everything should be at launch-readiness, the fuse fizzles. She's beckoning you, you glance down nervously to confirm that nothing -- absolutely nothing-- is ready for lift-off and the ensuing moments are the test of anyone's self-confidence and equanimity.

How you handle it can mean the difference between a disaster and a hiccup.

A smart fellow like you doesn't say a word to draw attention to your plight.

"Come here, beautiful," you say."Let me taste that delicacy for a while."

Soon you're losing yourself in the act of pleasing her. As your tongue teases out her creaminess, her moans begin to lengthen, the heat begins to rise.... and the next thing you know, you're feeling that welcome urgency that only the ownership of a hard cock can deliver.

Now it's up to you to take it where you will.

Well, now, class, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Oh, that's right..... it's very hard.

Now go in and play.